just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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