need another drink. this is the easiest way
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
