Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
All I want is dick and wine.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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