guys are only as good as the porn they watch
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Someone signed my nipple.
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