He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
