Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
