If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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