Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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