Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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