Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
