i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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