I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
