Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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