I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
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