In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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