You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
we made out on top of his cat.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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