How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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