I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
