Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
