so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
