ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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