I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
