i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize