sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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