Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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