i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
