i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
