she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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