i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
We need a shit load of segways right now
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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