It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
