chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
