forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
