did you get engaged???
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
