so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
