somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Randomize