I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
