On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
