I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
