OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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