Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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