i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
