sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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