As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
