Umm I'm too high to move.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Randomize