Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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