She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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