jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
she smelled like a LAN party
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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