Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
