it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
