so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
