hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
