Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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