Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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