Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
