Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
