The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
