Whoa Z and x make the same sound
im about as happy as oj after his trial
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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