i need an iv and a liver transplant
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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