HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
