I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
