the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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