Who did Billy Mays play for?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
