Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
